A pen from Ben

Now where am i?

2009-02-14T19:44:00.002+08:00

Boy life really has its uncertainties and we, a long road that leads to nowhere.
Sometimes I really wonder if everything is already planned or do i make the choices that affect me? When i change my mind over something, was it part of the plan or was it a ripple that changed the tides? Iwished one year would just pass by. i would gladly not go thru all the happy moments and just get a year closer to death so i dont have to witness myself wasting a year in ns =) OH well. time machines. i need one like right now. Oh on a side note. I wanna get a carrrrrrrrr. that shall be my first aim in life. Now to achieve it. Go Ben gooooooooo!

UP for 2009!

2009-01-04T12:40:00.004+08:00

Ok in order to not let my blog die even though i have like no time to update, i shall have an update just for 2009 cuz its gonna be the bestest year ever with me being in fucking ns the WHOLE year, yes the whole fucking year gone down the fucking drain with zilch being accomplished with me being in there.

Yes yes, you heard me NS is a fucking waste of time without anything new to learn or what. 12hrs of our life being miserable for 400 dollars a month and shit food. Oh hell people say NS makes you a man, I say what about countries without NS? The boys there won't ever be MAN?

It doesnt take NS to make you a man, just to realise time is precious. 6months is enough, even 1yr seems long. Now is 2 fucking years, yeah like we're living damn long like a 1000 yrs. we're only fucking living 100 yrs and you had to take away 2yrs and control it. Fucking ****** and fucking ****.

Down memory lane, with a different perspective

2008-12-03T20:53:00.003+08:00

So now we all know that nobody's perfect as the fault lines widen under pressure and you show yourself. All pride and ego lost and now you are bare, because you chose ignorance because you chose to not care, so that the responsibilities in which you had to bear, now do not rest on your shoulders. I am deeply saddened by everything you have become. You probably were not the best but you didnt bend under pressure and withstood the winds of change. But over the years you cracked and now i know who you are. My pity for you does not come with relations, rather because you look just that, pitiful.

I hope and pray that this truth gets hidden and the usual facade falls back into place, because things can be painful, just so you know.

Footprints

2008-11-10T21:29:00.003+08:00

Like every year a footprint, it vanishes and a new one is formed. Sometimes it may be in mud and all bad or in some years it maybe by etched in the sand and one worth remembering.. And with every footprint and time comes people who come and go some not so close and some we hold dear. Sometimes you know you can't escape disappearing from the facade of the earth and yet it scares you more that those close to you fall victim to that than you. This fragile thing called life, sometimes seem very strange. Sometimes you have to just set your path again, forget about your last steps and continue on your next one. Maybe it might just lead you to a better place.

QUALIFIED!

2008-11-08T00:07:00.000+08:00

Qualified class 3 & 4 SAF driver. HELL YEAH! FINALLY TURTURE HAS ENDED!

The single boy

2008-11-02T10:54:00.002+08:00

So now ppl say i might be gay cuz i'm single for so long. :O Bloody fuckin hell no way. Yeah single life sucks but wadda hell can we do about it if we havent found anyone, its not like i like being single. I see all the happy couples every weekend and sometimes i think to myself, wtf am i doing?! But then again i'm prolly single cuz its hard for me to accept just anyone, i've no idea why but i'm no male slut. SO THERE U GO. :) Everyone wants to find the special someone. including me bloody hell! and no it wont be another dude with a dick thanks..

And so life goes on...

nnooo i failed it

2008-10-27T17:45:00.001+08:00

man restest this coming week. anyone wanna invest?? contact me! 200% returns in less than 2yrs! and whats more is u dont have to put in alot. minimum is just 155 sing dollars. =D i just recently spoke to the sg branch boss, nice chap, very ambitious

that said im moving on soon to my next chapter in ns lifeeee

Class 4 TP tmrrrrr

2008-10-19T09:19:00.002+08:00

PRAY FOR ME. if i pass my life becomes a hell lot easier so yeah. and i've fallen ill blardy hell. what a time! Cant wait for the photoshoots planned out next month!

Repetitive, i dont like it much

2008-10-12T19:53:00.002+08:00

Everyone around me seems to be moving on to a different phase in their life. Coolios, while army has gotten me holed up in the same phase for 2years. Holy crap. Anyhow, on a brighter note, things outside seem to be going pretty good. hopefully thinks can stay this way and prolly army get a hell lot easier. :O

By the way... anyone interested in investing? :D can contact me for details. whopeedoo.

Perpetual irony it is

2008-10-01T11:27:00.002+08:00

So i was talking with my fellow groupmates from camp about religion, space and the evolution of man. How ironic sometimes i wonder when men so concerned about the afterlife or none of it dont see what humans have become, but the thing is do we really care. Do we believe what people tell us, the textbooks and such. Questions posed during the conversation, is the earth really round? other planets in the milky way? how do we know all these? By what our technology sees and then to the mass, what we read. This thing called knowledge may just be another mirage like the rumours of the fake man on the moon during the cold war as the US wanted to gain a foothold in the 'spacewars'. What then do faith hold for us, for those who have, and those who do not, or are we to be buried 100years later, forgotten.

Ah man... I need to improve my reaction for driving and my thinking is far too slow i guess. Need to adapt to this vocation real soon or i'm just as good as dead i swear. Goodbye people, enjoy your holidays! I will be back soon if i have more time. =D

Temporary photography website done!

2008-09-28T16:40:00.001+08:00

http://passioninphotography.blogspot.com/

Do support me people! Hahaha. thanks!

DAMN LONG SIAL

2008-09-28T10:28:00.001+08:00

Been damn busy like f%#! haha.. been training how to drive class 3 and 4 in army. friggin stressful but i dont believe its that difficult, so hopefully i'll be done soon and get back to blogging and stuff, oh by the way i might be getting my first photography customer. woohoo. Hold on there Ben! 1.5 more months only.

Dawn after the darkness?

2008-08-09T16:03:00.002+08:00

As the day break i know the week ahead is again no easy one,
I slipped and fell many a times, got up and know i have to slip again.
It is this never ending road that i wanna give up sometimes,
maybe im slipping into a hole that i cannot climb back out.
I have bitten my teeth and bore the brute of it all yet...
My strength gets weaker everyday and i fall prey to dark habits.
Like stones dropped into the dark blue sea never rising again.
Resting at the bottom waiting for something to get me up again.

Its august!

2008-08-02T10:02:00.005+08:00

Wow so fast and its August already. for the freaking past 1.5months, life has been mundane as ever yet time has passed and thats awesomeness. Field camps are coming soon. Marsiling and Tekong here we come. Oh i love this commando song, i shall share with you guys.

"There's a place in Changi Point, home of the commandos;
Up where the red beret, singing with pride;
Silver wings upon our chests, show them we are the best;

Trained to fight by day and night, sharp ears and eagle eyes;
We'll jump from any height;

Commandos are ever strong, fight for right and not for wrong;
We are the loyal ones;
Silver wings upon our chest, show them we are the best"

Having said that i wanna get outta that shithole. Dying, halfway. Bleah.

Save me from this thing they call NS

2008-07-27T10:59:00.002+08:00

I dont believe i've to go through 2 years of this nonsensical shit waste of time thrash. SERIOUSLY. wtf. sian lah. Hahahaha. Ok so this past week has been very bad for me. Many things happened that werent quite in my favour and stuff. oh well. bite ur teeth and bear with it they always say. So here i go.

Cheespies

2008-07-19T13:20:00.002+08:00

KENA FUCK LIKE SHIT IN CAMP TODAY. Fucking motherfuck cheebye fuck. Fucking pissed to the core. FUCK this shit!

Damn i have guard duty tomorrowwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Damn demoralised. too many shits have happened. Living a life that i dont wanna live! I wonder how it is to jump 10storeys. NO LA FUCK just kidding. hahaha. AIYA. time for me to get out! Ciao people! take care!

Soccerrrrrrrrrrr

2008-07-13T07:13:00.001+08:00

So today we played soccer with the commandopes bunkmates and my stpats friends. Power la babe. But no more friday book out for me. Thats what i expect and next week sunday guard duty. FUCK THIS SHIT.

Anyhow i really enjoyed this weekend so it dont matter! =)

POWER LA FRIDAY BOOK OUT!

2008-07-11T20:25:00.002+08:00

YES READ THE TITLE! I shall post my picture soon on my physical changes. ROFL

Cuz she's bittersweet

2008-07-06T19:45:00.004+08:00

Ok so i have been enjoying and cherishing every single weekend i got out of jail. =) No seriously.
Sometimes I wonder why do we have to do this, all the world needs is for people to come to their
senses and stop all the mindless conflicts and people like me won't have to go through 2 years
of meaningless service. However being in NS has taught me many things. ( although i think 3 months is enough, 2 years is ridiculous ) And for that some part of me is grateful for the freedom i had, and have during the weekends.

Anyhow i wanted to pen down a poem for sometime about someone so i decided to write one today. Happy reading and enjoy what little time you all have because when you don't have that time then it is too late to think about it. AND NO NS WONT CHANGE ME BITCHES.

I never thought i'd reach here,
The feeling never so clear.
I never expected much to come,
But I knew i'd try, there is no harm.

I'm happy for the moments i got,
Although they aren't a lot.
Its not how dazzling she looks,
Nor how good she can cook.

But the way she makes me smile,
Her humour that differs by a mile.
It cannot be explained i say,
Its just the way she speaks and play.

The feeling one can never pen down,
It brightens you up when you have a frown.
Sometimes it makes a loud person shy,
And when you really feel it, you could fly.

Not much time, not much of everything,
But i will compromise if anything.
So now the question then is why,
Because for 3 years i didn't really wanna try.

Not until now, because of you.

Adios Amigos. Back to camp fer me. Next week is last week of PTP!

SATURDAY AGAIN!

2008-07-05T13:15:00.001+08:00

HOME SWEET HOME!!!!!! hahahaha. Next week PTP is gonna end and BMT's gonna start but i wanna come out and go tekong or something. i dont have the commitment to everyday book out saturday and book in sunday! Next week i shall post a picture od myself and u guys can see the difference of 1 month in Commando camp. LOL. Toodles bitches.

Blaaaaaaah

2008-06-28T18:37:00.002+08:00

Commando ptp is helllllll. i wanna drop outta it man. I am too shagged out to share any stories for now. adios amigos.

10hrs to go and i most prolly wont sleep!

2008-06-12T22:49:00.002+08:00

Hahaha. I wanted to entertain u guys with bald gabriel pang unfortunately he never came online so i apologise over this unforseen circumstance.

ANYHOW. dont get bored okay people. HAHAHA. More juicy stories from camp when i go in soon! =D

In the meantime enjoy the best of friends! i love this humourous show!
I love ya all! Everyone! Take care now. Byeness.

Ben over and out. FOR 2 friggin weeks..!

Bald Ben IS STILL HOTTTTTTTTT

2008-06-12T16:00:00.004+08:00

Seriously i think i am damn hot. Even after the shave. Just look at that. Awesome. HAHAAHAHA.

This shall be my 2nd last post people. The feeling somewhat subsided and come what may. Most important is I did what i wanted to do before entering. hur hur. So now i shall just be slacking the entire day and i shall reply every msg or tags that comes my way. woohoo. cant wait to enter so i wont feel the "how its gonna be like" shit. OH YA. GAB PANG'S EXCLUSIVE BALD HEAD TONIGHT.

Ben over and out yo

Going in tomorrow

2008-06-12T02:04:00.002+08:00

You know right that the feeling i'm feeling now. SUCKS LIKE MY BLOODY BOLLOCKS. Some dude from Poh Han's batch had to faint and pass away and Joseph had to show me the fucking link and go hahahahaha. fark.

WHA LAU. ok. So i went to collect my passport and IC today, and this ex commando guy was telling me about his time, when i asked whether it was tough.

Ex-commando "you will hear this from ur sargeant also, tough times do not last but tough men do"

HAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Holy shit i was at the point of breaking out laughing. What the fuck was that about. So i take a gun and shoot you? How long u gonna last? This kinda propoganda phrases will be mentioned to me and my platoon mates i reckon and if they do. boy i am gonna fuck them up and then i am gonna die. fuck. man. thats totally not fair man. we should be given a chance to laugh at stupid phrases.

So today i went to eat my "last supper" with Kumar and Mok at Geylang. whalan eh. Damn sick. i seriously dunno how army dudes can go there for fun. BUT the food was awesome. Chinese Dim Sum. Ate like there was no tomorrow.

I hope i dont die in camp. What a waste 40yrs of slogging out in the working world. Till tomorrow! Ben loves you all. Over and out.

Peek chers

2008-06-11T00:24:00.004+08:00

21st with the group pictures are uppppppppppp!

Love you guys. Ben over and out.

Lethargic madness

2008-06-10T14:00:00.003+08:00

Holy shit the sleeping medicine i took was fucking awesome. I never slept at 1 plus AM in like 10yrs! but the effect a lil too much, till i awoke at like fucking 1 plus PM. GREAT. cuz of the lethargic feeling, i shall postpone some of my stuff till tomorrow. I will go get whats left of my army shit today instead.

Yay Co-fucked-man-lanjiao-dos here i come!

Anyhow another thing that i shall not leave out is the IMD's birthday celebration for Yahui and me. Thanks alot guys! :) I think the next time i see you awesome people again would be without my awesome pubic hair. I know ferli will miss it most. HAHAHA. Oh btw happy bday Yahui. You're an old hag now. :O I shall double the posts from today till i enlist. Weehoo

Ben is a happy boy

2008-06-09T03:53:00.003+08:00

The feeling of going into NS IS SHITTY but thanks to friends. And i mean almost every friend that i have, not only do i not see the shitty part now, but i actually am really happy. Its these little things in life that you actually treasure. And oh someone made my day today. Hahahas. THANKS ALL. you have no idea how happy i am.

I went to town today to watch kungfu panda with Kumar and Mok, and we kept bumping into Melissa Tan Chloe. And i'm looking forward to seeing my poly bitches tomorrow. =)

Life means alot after all. Its the priceless expressions that really matter and those are the gifts that so many out there are living for.

Ben over and out.

21st with the group

2008-06-08T12:20:00.006+08:00

Went to makan till like the end of the world is coming at Seoul Garden Marina, and as i'm typing this my tummy feels................. Even though its the morning after. Hahahaha. Love you guys, thanks for everything, prezzies and all. And thanks Meiru for the cake even though at that point i'd rather have food out then in already. I think the amount i can eat has decreased. The telling sign of ageing? :O You tell me. Went to play pool after that.

Then off we went to Darren's. Hahahahaha knn, Darren how was that tit pinching and balls groping you got. Videos and Photos up soon. Whoa I will miss you guys for 2 weeks(and dunno how long after that until i meet up with you guys again).

And we talk cock till the first bus. Aww man if only we could do this more often. SOCCER soon puhlease people. Speaking of which.

PORTUGAL WON TURKEY. WOOOO!!!! 2 - 0 bitches.
GO PORTUGAL!

Ben over and out!

Whopedeedoo

2008-06-06T14:50:00.006+08:00

You know i've been having so much fun that i dont want the holidays to end much less go in NS. SUCKS EH. So yesterday we had a fashion photoshoot and Jiawen was the "Boss" and Wenminn the model, both from Apparel Design and Merchandising in case you're wondering. Hahaha. had alot of fun even though night fasion was tough as hell and its my freaking first fashion shoot! however i thought everything went well and I did A-OK. Here are some pictures. ENJOY!

A toast to pre-officially adult Ben

2008-06-05T01:20:00.004+08:00

What makes an adult? Turning 21 and finally realising what you want/need in life, or is it this thing they call National Service?

Ah... see now i'm at this crucial point in my life where one by one my guy frens are all fast disappearing to serve the nation. So i wanted to do a summary of my life up until now, so if i were to one day die from parachuting or like aids, or maybe even suddenly disappearing without notice for some conjured up reason; I have in this blog something about me.

Born in 1987 to 2 Loving parents in Singapore American Hospital, now East Shore Hospital. Brought up by my Portuguese Eurasian grandparents, baptized and confirmed a Roman Catholic. Sibling to a close brother and annoying as hell sister. Studied in St.Stephen's Primary where i met many great friends whom some are still friends with me till today, started playing soccer then and detiorated into a lazy bum. Aimed for express but unfortunately went into the NA stream in St.Patrick's School where he had one of the best times that according to him already changed him into and adult. Met awesome dudes who till today are still my closest friends. Went into Temasek Poly Design and finally realised what he loved doing. Had alot of fun, too much for it to be considered school. AND now sitting here pondering over the 4 days to my 21st birthday and 8 days to my enlistment into School of Commandos.

If you read all of that. You had to be bored as me now and probably thinking about what you are going to do too. Fret not. Que sara, sara, whatever will be, will be. We are here to turn our 100yrs(or less) of meaningless life into a meaningful one. Be it friends, family or just the things you do. SO i say we stop worrying what we dont have or havent done and start enjoying what we have, this life that we all see it as God given, wrong, think again and never be down another day.

A post just for you, my first hater. =D

2008-06-03T04:21:00.003+08:00

For those of you who blogs for whatever reasons, personal or other other reason, i'm sure you came across this group of lowlife fugly ppl.

"Haters": The term used to descibe mothafuckers who have no life but to read your posts which is not meant for them(well because its either they read blogs or just wank to porn), and no guts to tag with a name(well fags are fags, bottom of the bottomless society)

Getting warmer arent I? So i had this tag from a faggot who pretended to be my fren, in which i knew she wouldnt have done such a thing. See thats the reason why i am reluctant to tell people my blog nor have ppl reading about my everyday life, but what i put up here is my daily rants and its not all personal.

So yeah people say dont bother and why reply to this kinda tags? HELL HEY ATTENTION SEEKING ASSHOLES i dedicated a post for you guys! HURRAH. So this person says I act cool and i'm a fake. I'm no more fake then a person not even putting his name down. Gutless fag.

And act cool? You dont even know me you cocksucker.

You see. this kinda people is what we need. Society would be so so so boring without idiots like these. If everyone wasn't as cowardly and attention seeking, we would have a robot society. We dont want that do we? So we have this people who have nothing better to do, well besides the porn, to tag us with what their wild imagination feeds them. Such is their imagination its difficult for them to realise what kind of cunts they are EVEN after looking at the mirror.

This people amuse, entertain and make me laugh. Why? Just for being you. Hahahahahaha.. And dont worry it takes more then a cunt to get me pissed. =)

Ben over and out.

Yawn

2008-06-01T20:48:00.002+08:00

Ok i've been sleeping like a pig lately. now its time to do what i've set out to do. go Ben go.

On a side note. poh han, herb and me walked pass orchard towers to take a bus. and like ............. HOLY FUCKING SHIT! CHAO CHEE BYE THE AH GUAS. KANINA.

ok i just had to let that out.

Ben over and out.

A pen from Meiru

2008-05-29T19:05:00.005+08:00

so i'm back from s c h o o l:)) Finally figured the wild things of the new blogger. These are snippets of last night which benthedood was not spotted in any. So at the least, Cheryl had to work the next morning. And Bgs?

signing out <3

Kumz Bday

2008-05-29T13:11:00.003+08:00

Haha what a night it was. Happy birthday Kumaran. I hope you like that sexy thongs dude, and the new wallet you wanted so much.

Prem didnt wanna drink so much because of school, some had work but bloody hell all forced one another. fucking funny. lol. Calvin was the only one who wanted to mambo the night away, luckily the rest prefered to groove to RnB haha. I was damn tired because i didnt sleep the night before. Then they opened the night with a flaming lambhorgini. mad shits. lol. It was fun though but phuture was crowded like fuck.

And there was a small reunion of St.pats and KC lol. One of kumz's fren and some of my other frens whom i met there from KC and us from st.pats. and Cheryl's frens from NUS. I swear our group was so big that we had to split so many times. lol. And Meiru if you're reading this thanks for coming late and having us wait outside for ur fren to help u get ur damn phuture chop. HAHA.

Bros for life yo! Oh yes a few sisters too. haha. Gooooooooodbye. Anyone with pics pls pass me to post up!

Gibberish in the highest form

2008-05-28T00:56:00.005+08:00

Many a times we reflect what we have done, ponder what are we gonna do and actually do nothing.
The future is uncertain the changes are scary and nothing looks that promising.
The weather is bad at times, sometimes good and one thing is, it is never constant.
Everything changes and nothing remains and everyone moves on.

Do people really care when they say they do.
Are humans too smart for themselves, do we feel enough?
What makes a human? thought or feelings, intellectual minds or just a selfless heart.
Surely we do not have the best of both worlds? where one is weak, his strength lies in other areas.

Do we act in faith because we believe or because others believe..?
Do we disregard faith because you need evidence for everything? Then surely the wind that flows through your hair needs to be seen? Or you believe its there just because you feel it?
If feelings are controlled by the mind then surely the mind is a very dangerous tool.

Surely the propaganda that feeds it conquers all.
But what of the heart that does not think. Can it still be bad as it does nothing but feel?
What is feel but a word and something conjured by the mind? what if we weren't taught what is feeling and how to feel?
What is love, hate or any other emotions then. Could it still be felt? If yes then do we still need to see to believe?

The blind cannot see yet they imagine, the deaf cannot hear but they bear knowledge without listening, the mute cannot speak but yet they tell us so much, the ones without limbs still travel, the ones with intelligence handicap still feel and know right from wrong, those without loved ones still go on to touch lives.

I say then we do not see to believe but it is up to oneself. It is not we who corrupt the child but the teenager who grows to corrupt himself. I believe then there is more than just us. more than feelings and thoughts because this alone cannot be described by simple words.

HAHA sorry ah just felt like writing that down. TMR NAPFA. PLS BE A GOOD RESULT SO I CAN HAVE A NORMAL NS.

Goodnight ppl. Ben over and out yo.

New pictures

2008-05-20T23:02:00.004+08:00

So I recently went shooting with Zul at Bishan park. Had this children concert thingy.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/benjamingabriel/sets/72157605123677194/

Enjoy!

Children are such joys to take picture of, their not camera shy and their so darn cute. Lol.
Oh and i just blew my money on this expensive pair of headset and now im broke. =)

Compare ppl by facebook

2008-05-18T02:30:00.006+08:00

An e-mail i received;

This email was sent by Compare People. You can disable emails here.

---Your friends have voted on your strengths and weaknesses:

STRENGTHS:
most athletic
most trustworthy
craziest

WEAKNESSES:
most famous
kindest

OK now seriously? =(
I am unkind? Thats really sad man. eh altho i insult ppl that doesnt mean im unkind!! and oh btw im touched by those who voted me trustworthy. dont worry. i wont SPILL SECRETS ON MY BLOG like someone who's reading this. =D

Oh What Happens in Vegas was an awesome show. 10/10 for no lame humour. and 9/10 comparing it with other romantic films. so it was an awesome 9.5/10 as a romantic comedy for me. Ashton Kutcher, i will be gay for you. And seriously. Cameron Diaz is the hottest 40yr old. Not Hot HOT. but... glowing hot. The aura yo. She seriously aged gracefully.

Ok now today was a day full of english gibberish for the people around me. A list of mistakes.

1) "The female actor in the film" <----- I suppose thats singular and plural is actress? LOL

2) "lesser than ......." <----- sounds logical but have we heard of morer?

3) "... ... before the final stroke of midnight ... .. " <---- cool. so like. how many midnights today before the final stroke?

4) "mostler" <----- ok this seriously hits the jackpot. I have heard of so many "more" and "less"misuse but fuck. mostler. I have heard of hustler but mostler beats it man. It has to be The top hustler gets to be the mostler. =P

I mean Beijing Olympics is coming...... but.... ok i give up. everyone lets jiang or chiang huayi man -thumbs up-

NO HARD FEELINGS OK ppl. I KNOW I AM FUCKING MEAN BUT... aiya you all know lah =D

1 more month.

2008-05-13T22:11:00.002+08:00

Nooooooooo its officiall one month till i enlist in commandogss... i wonder why people find it soooo enticing to join that unit. Sure you have the privilege of being called the "best" unit, but hell, i seriously dont give a fuck. lol.

Ok lah nice to show off once in awhile but wtf, they have no lifeeee. and soon i'll join them! hurrah!

Oh yea i will DEFINATELY remember how i spent my first 2 years of adulthood. *hint* birthday 9 June *coughs* =D

The countdown begins . . . . . . . . . .

Disgusting shiat

2008-05-09T00:52:00.004+08:00

I seriously hate guys wearing freaking girly handbags thinking its the trend now.

Just saw one today.

SERIOUSLY. wtf.

OK Ben has gone out of the way to draw for you guys!

here you go

Fuck this trend from wherever it is.

With that said. Old school backpacks Rawk!

Waiting... waiting...

2008-05-07T23:45:00.003+08:00

Hmmm. Pause and think. Ben. Pause and think.

2 years of NS ahead and then slugging it out in the world. The REAL world.

No more canteen breaks, no more joking around. for fucking the next 40yrs of my life.

They say life is precious. how precious can that be. fuck. Haha. ok no don't worry i'm not in any sort of bad mood.

So anyhow. I've been bumming around alot. and those who wanna slack and have supper and cannot find any other assholes like you and me, i am here bitches. Supper, eat and be merry till NS and working life do us death. If i had a picture that could somewhat reflect myself now. Here it is. Taken and edited by me.

Thinking whether if there is anything deeper than the ruckus at present.

Speaking of which. My thinking seemed to have slowed over the years. Anyone else? =/

I LOST MY WALLET

2008-05-02T11:21:00.002+08:00

YES READ THE DAMN TITLE. either that or suck on my titties. stupid fucking geek beside us in the theatre took it without returning! WHA LAO.

Mother fucker. I'll slap your flat ass back to computer land you mofo. And suck on my nipples while you're at it!

Ok enough ranting. i've to go make a police report and remake my IC. bye bye $100. sigh.

Phase 1 of my photography portfolio

2008-04-26T19:24:00.001+08:00

Hi guys, finally after 3 weeks i've done something

http://flickr.com/photos/benjamingabriel/sets/72157604738576777/

Comments and critique are most appreciated! =D

Sigh

2008-04-22T13:45:00.004+08:00

Its been a sad past week.. Why i have not been updating is design orientation camp. And to tell you the truth, i have never seen a bunch of freshies more "on". It made the time spent there all worth it. Even getting to know some juniors which i never knew. Hahas.

My 4th and last orientation was quite emotional seeing people tear and stuff at the end. But hey. i mean we're all friends forever right? It isnt the end of friendships so i didnt see the point in tearing and stuff but i understand those who did.

Time moves but Temasek Design School i will never forget.

This post is dedicated to everyone from TDS and especially IMD/MOI. Love you guys, peace, see you at graduation. :)

Some of the nicer pictures i took ;

And when i got home that night.......

Augustine (my brother) : Eh Benjamin never heard the bad news yet right?
Me : What bad news ? Army right ? i know laaa... alot of peple got their letters also.
Augustine : Thats only half of the bad news.

That moment i felt damn crappy. Cuz i know.... Commandos... Fuck. Honour and Glory here i come.

New window

2008-04-07T23:01:00.003+08:00

So i have shifted to another part of pasir ris and now my new eating buddy is David. Hahaha. he reccomends chicken lice. =/

ok one pic from one of the window from my new Nikon D80!

A Troubled mind

2008-04-03T23:27:00.002+08:00

It is not you, never you, it is always me,
I am the wicked one who knows no feelings.
I spare no second thoughts to dish out feelings within,
Nothing can change me except me.

So after all the dusts that has settled and the day sleeps,
why do i remain this, this unfilial boy from the pits.
What has consumed me all this while,
What more do i need to do than to throw away old habits?

They die hard but they die anyhow,
have i not done so or am i changed only in my eyes?
Your answer i seek as i am lost,
never knowing where the road bends or character i should amend.

2008-04-01T23:47:00.003+08:00

My apologies to poh han but erm. seriously.

L O fucking L

FHM GIRLS!

2008-03-31T23:51:00.004+08:00

ok seriously. FHM girl next door? more like "who i think is pretty standing next to my door"

rofl. you have really flabby girls to the downright no boobs girls. Girls with braces. Girls who look like they just woke up. (*note - i have nothing against any of those kinda girls, just that THIS IS FHM -_-)

Hmmmm.. Thank me for posting this cuz my eyes nearly went blind. Now pass me my salt.

A new chapter

2008-03-26T01:28:00.002+08:00

As i awake from the morning dust i saw the beautiful night,
I laid there and thought to myself how bright the stars were glittering uninterrupted,
I came out of the sun setting un-scarred and un-tattered,
while the voices i left behind still wailed in agony.

But i pushed and then i blacked out,
I was lost, lost i say, few were there but many left one by one,
but these few whom came through with me felt the brilliance of the night as well,
So we stood there and watched as the old pages torn and tattered separated with the night's gentle gust of wind.

Moments remembered and names etched in our minds,
emotions high and low, trust broken and gained,
but all in all there was nothing, nothing at all that was better,
Nothing better than this new chapter.

No skool like the old skool

2008-03-19T12:50:00.002+08:00

Argh been too lazy to blog. And i'm slowly turning back to my old lazy self without any self motivation to work. Shiat. thats it. Suddenly its like. blank. no more work. no more motivation to work. rot. ok. that sucks.

3yrs gone too soon. wow. life is fast after all.

This smells like another one, again after the many.

2008-03-12T01:17:00.004+08:00

Like the blue that colours the violet, the red the roses,
and the ocean that washes upon the shores ever so slowly yet assuringly.

Like the wind that whispers in every gust and the calmness when it stops,
and the trees that watch silently and we not knowing.

Like myself for knowing yet not knowing and unsure of every step for the fear that,
somehow things will repeat yet the hope that it will not.

Into a world unknown, machines chomping heavily and a scarily dark world,
the need for a sign or direction would somewhat be useful.

A light that falls on that glimmer of hope that I would somewhat survive this simple tragedy,
don't want it to just be another one that has fallen like the autumn leaves, indistinguishable.

And then as absurd as it sounds the thoughts are more often then i would like.
But. whatever will be, will be.

A window of thought

2008-03-03T22:14:00.002+08:00

So today i went back home from school and it was raining quite heavily.
I decided to stop the bus a stop after my home and walk that one bus stop distance in that rain. dont ask why. I myself don't know.

So as the rain trickled down my cheeks and formed droplets on my chin growing ever so larger then it plops onto the ground, becoming just one of the many. On the way my brain decided to put aside the work that i have been working on, the work i had to do and just thought about... nothing.. and everything.

So i wonder would life be mundane and boring again now that school is coming to an end..? and a new chapter beginning in my life, in everyone else around me. Or would it be something to cheer about?

Then the green man turned red, and i thought, just my luck eh.

So i stood there drenched. deep in thought and loved how every rain drop fell onto my head and trickled down like the drop before it. By the time i reached home i was probably more satisfied that i took that walk then feeling stupid.

Don't ask, i don't know why.

Ever thought about...

2008-03-01T01:03:00.000+08:00

Ever thought about dimensions? Recently read this article about (some long name) physics... thingy... well along those lines lah.

It said.. Whenever a light passes thru a glass and reaches your eye, there are 2 dimensions... :O
ok half the people now would close the blog and go and sleep already cuz of the amount of brain power needed to understand that. Ok for the more curious ones. why?

Cuz light bounces of it and the bounced light forms another dimension while you live in another (the light that passed thru the glass)

Wow. Hmmm. ok.

So have you heard of time travel? Another brain thingy. Einstein's theory to be exact. Since time is sort of light reaching your eyes. (therefore the dimensions thing above)
If you can built a ship that can travel as fast as light, you would reach the destination same as the light and no time would have passed as everything would be "frozen in time" as light cannot catch up with you to reveal whatever's around you.
AND
IF you can travel faster than light, it means you can see the object before light touches it, and the more faster you go, the more(before) of the object you'll see cuz you're faster than the light touching it.

Voila! Therefore moving back in time.

P.S. for those who do not understand. you're not alone. at first i too found it hard to grasp something as complexed as this. =)

Penned by Ben 1.13AM 29th Feb 08

Fyp submission pictures

2008-02-29T23:55:00.001+08:00

MOI for the win! A good 3yrs, but many more to come aye?

"A passion for visuals brought us here, but we leave with visuals that describe more than passion"
-Ben

=D

FYP ---> Dip show ----> Freedom

2008-02-27T02:15:00.001+08:00

Now that i'm stuck in between post FYP mood and pre Dip show mood. I dont do work anymore. LOL ok maybe i do. but its so little its really considered negligible. wait did i get that spelling correct? =/ oh bother i dont care actually. i just wanna sleep and watched my newly copied moviessssss.

Cant wait for design camp and post TP. hmmm ok maybe not the army part but besides that.

I wonder what the outside world holds and one the adults seem to hate more than skool. =/

Old school

2008-02-24T00:26:00.000+08:00

Went to makan at one of our old school haunts, beach road market.

Kumar, Shaun and Jeremy. weehooo. I havent been seeing them much. OH well. till deep shit show is overrrrr.

Penned by Ben 12.28AM 24 Feb 08

What is...

2008-02-21T00:56:00.000+08:00

What is love for i see innocents dying everyday,
a crime they did not commit and a price to pay.
What is kindness for the rich ride their limousines,
while the lame suffer when they commited no sins.
What is a smile for i see faces of death like its no big deal,
do people really care or do they not feel?
What is happiness for each happy moment is coupled with sadness,
in this terribly harsh life to the point it's madness.

What is this world when everyone don't really feel anymore,
until its too late and we all wither away, dead from sins still sore.

Penned by Ben 1.20AM 21 Feb 08

Commandope Ben?

2008-02-19T11:56:00.000+08:00

Went to the commandope base yesterday and boy was it an experience. I really hope i don't get chosennnnnnnnnnn.

I want my life *whines*

Its OVER!!

2008-02-16T11:52:00.000+08:00

FYP is OVER PEOPLEEEEEEEE!

Wowee. I can't believe this. 3 years gone in a blink of an eye. Deosn't feel like it aye.
Although i am not really happy with my final film i guess it'll have to do. Whats done cannot be undone. Its been a wonderful 3 years filled with unforgettable memories, good and bad but i never wanna take anything away.

FYP submission crazy pictures coming soon.

Played ban luck with ah Boon, Poh Han and Gabriel Pang. Good stuff. And it feels damn good not waking to an alarm i tell you. =D SHIOK!

Ok now apart from school. I have this topic i have been wanting to blog about. The Deal or No Deal Hunks. SERIOUSLY. wtf.

Definition of hunks - mascular. men filled with testerone.
And then you what do you get there? Those AND...

Female looking Japanese man who pluck their brows and look more likely to have a vagina then dick.

No wonder guys turn gay.

Penned by Ben 12.01PM 16 February 08

5 days

2008-02-10T00:06:00.000+08:00

5 days. lets see how i can describe this.

5 days till i excrete excitement
5 days till my life changes again, unlike my unchanged underwear.
5 days till i sleep with an unchanged pair of clothing, not done in 4 months.
5 days till i can dont sleep and yet feel good about it because i can sleep anytime after that.
5 days till i can eat meals proper.
5 days till i can laugh about other incidents without it being related to school.
5 days till i can shave off my leg hairs and noone in my batch would give a damn cuz they did the same.

5 days of hell left.

AND

THEN

army.

=) and they said life is wonderful.

Cheena New Year

2008-02-07T03:22:00.000+08:00

Ni hao Ni hao,

Wo de ming tze hai sze Benahmin. Fuck this shit.
Ok Reunion dinner was great. I hope everyone else's was too =D

Lets get to business. So my aunty and me were talking about girlfriends infront of my married cousin.

Ben: Whoa to marry a chinese, you need to embarrass yourself at her house? =/
Aunt: MUST its tradition you get all the dares and things and you must do.
Ben: OK i not marrying chinese already.
Aunt: Huh? then marry what?
Ben: Ang moh la!
Aunt: But ang moh you cannot get the pretty kind, or not not safe you know
Ben: But what if i get the pretty and nice kind?
Aunt: Aiyah very rare la
Ben: If i get then good right? *cheeky smile*
Cousin: Ang moh not so good la
Aunt: You marry ang moh and you say that
-Everyone bursts out laughing. My cousin just cornered herself and she was speechless. Her husbandis an American btw."

I find this year's reunion dinner pretty good. Prolly the break from FYP. Like. FINALLY.

Deadline for FYP is nearing. urgency is at unprecedented levels and i cannot do much except documentation. =) Grrrrrreat.

Oh Btw Been watching this inspirational video. Niceeee

Randomness

2008-02-02T23:22:00.000+08:00

My stupid allergy is gone. Thank the heavens man. I was dying yesterday.

Today i played with the nikon D200 and zomg. ORGASM. I want a nikon. soon. =)
I'm a failure in moving images and therefore i wanna try my hand at still images. :O try try sekali fail sial bang. Alot of work however i dont feel the urgency. Lets die together ppl, you know i will be there for you. =D

One of the best videos and the best cartoon! ;)

2008-01-31T23:37:00.001+08:00

This is what you get when FYP gets to you. (Y)

Tick Tock

2008-01-30T23:54:00.000+08:00

Bleah Ben you're really the best, you still have the time to blog. :O

At the end of everyday or when i do have the time to actually think, I always wonder what drives every man to go on doing his daily duties. Sure you have your motivation and shit. but at the end it all wouldnt really matter THAT much would it?

I would say living to be happy in everything you do, that would make living colourful and whole lot more meaningful. I don't really fancy the I have to do this then i will have time to rest and relax after. If you think long and hard about it, we're slaves to this monetory society and our own greed. Hey i'm not asking you to go out there and make the poor people rich or what have you but many people would choose a high paying job over a satisfying job. Its not surprising, people think with money comes happiness, i beg to differ, with close family and friends comes happiness. Of course with enough money to survive. Not overspend.

" Everyone is but faceless in my mind, faces only formed when personalities show. Everyone else but a passing memory gone and forgotten like how i am like to others, and they to me. " - Just felt like writing that down.

Penned by Ben 12.15AM Jan31 08

Happy birthday Ah Boon

2008-01-29T23:36:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday Boon;

Here are the events of Ah boon's mini celebration.

Happy Birthday Boss (salutes) ni yao da qi mah?

And we end with Ah Boon's Gayest picture ever :D Will post the video tomorrow or when i have the time.

Penned by Ben 12.01AM Jan30 08

Someone, something, sometime

2008-01-29T23:12:00.000+08:00

Usually i blog to my feelings and emotions,

I try to refrain from blogging about people cuz i don't believe in such things. However i am gonna break that personal rule for today. I honestly don't like talking behind people but for this particular motha fucka i really don't give 2 shits.

I don't spread rumours about people even though some of them make me sick. Its a personal thing and yeah. I am so sick of this idiot it makes me wanna really walk up to him and just land one on his face. Even if i lose i will make sure people won't recognise his blardy face.

Talk about being a bastard. Did things behind my back and acted like the greatest friend in the world in front. Heh. Get a life fucktard. Even though events may have taken place long ago, recent events spurred the anger. When you were bloody down i freaking offered to help you solve your shit and all. To think that you would do such a thing. If there were an example to an low grade asswipe i had ever came across it would be you, you bastard.

The closest thing i could find to match you online -->

Don't worry unlike you i also do things upfront, so if you feel the need to confront me regarding this post step up bitch. Lets see how much balls you have if you do come across this post.

Penned by Ben 11:33pm Jan 29 08

Final lap

2008-01-28T01:02:00.000+08:00

This might be my last update for sometime till my FYP is over. so instead of words i am gonna post up some pictures. EVEN UNGLAM ONES =D Enjoy.

Midst of FYP

2008-01-27T00:37:00.001+08:00

Final Leg MOI/IMD. All the way peeps!

Happy 21st birthday Matt. Still as ugly as ever. :O

Penned by Ben 12.39AM 27JAN08

A rose in the winter

2008-01-26T00:49:00.000+08:00

Today i feel a lil poetic and shit so i shall pen something down.

Like a rose in the winter cold, a heart that used to be bold.
Waiting for the sunlight to shine down, till then its nothing but a frown.

Water condenses and it seems like tears, for this heart it has been years.
Its not a fear nor a sign of desperation, more similar to happiness and anticipation.

Like a melodramtic song played over again, a mixture of feelings, loneliness and pain.
Memories whizz past and everything replayed, Unhappy, anger and dismayed.

Its a suffocating thought to hold, one not many i have told.
Time has passed and many things changed, but its the heart that i still find strange.

SOCCER TODAY WAS GREAT. other than that been editing like hell as usual.
Army is coming soon = Ben is gonna have a pimple outbreak soon. DIE. CRAP. *Mumbles*
Cheena new year coming soon = good food and less time for fyp. :O
But best of all is hongbaos. wehoo. my cheena spelling not bad k even though i only learnt it till K2. After which i learnt bahasa melayu. YES i learnt that. I dont understand why people find it hard to believe.

Mim tambén apertado para acreditar? ( Me too hard to believe? [portuguese] )

Penned by Ben 1.24AM Jan26 08

Dying from stress and more stress

2008-01-25T02:09:00.000+08:00

Ok its not enough that our videos are worse then crap and all.

Today we had to bear with seeing what an A document looks like. Effing thick. Hardcover, with extremely nice visuals.

How about normally binded, effing thick and nice visuals? B. Thats 2 grade different mind you. WHAT THE HELL. Its totally not fair to those of us who scrimp and save. BIND A HARDCOVER BOOK. THATS FREAKING 60-90 bucks! And the school's gonna keep it. Who the arsecrack wants to spend 90 bucks for the school to display in its library of stuffs?

*raises hand annoyingly* (its to get A mind you)

I tried to be smart.

Ben: Eh Julian... So like that if well all do like the B confirm must moderate one of us to A right?
Julian(lecturer): Nope if your work is crap, its crap.
Ben: *cheeky smile*

Thats not all, after that i tried the poor boy me response.

Julian(to everyone): If he can do it. SO CAN YOU GUYS.
Ben: Eh but not everyone print money like him you know. I already eating maggie nowsadays ah.
Julian doesnt bother responding to such a witty comeback.

Ben 1 - Julian 0
however Ben's FYP = 0 as well.

ZOMG thanks Jia Wen for helping with me blog.

Penned by Ben 2.20AM Jan25 08

Stupid fucking blogskins are pissing me off

2008-01-23T02:22:00.000+08:00

After my last post the blog skins decided to piss me off. Retarded shits. why can they give me better choices besides retarded ones. Going in search of good skins is getting on my nerves. Fuck it.

On a lighter note I just realised i have not seen my close frens for more than a month. :O

Hope to see you bitches soon.

Penned by Ben 2.25AM 23Jan 08

The reason why i started is FYP

2008-01-23T01:51:00.000+08:00

Ok what do i think of FYP.

(F)ull of shit mixed with (Y)ogurt and (P)enises.
No. Seriously.. i wanna go to friggin dark corner and start cutting myself up. or maybe beat some dude. Like someone. I shall not elaborate or i am going to have people coming to me for being racist. :O

you petty bastards deserve some beatings too. =)

Yay i feel alot better now. Things to do after FYP:
CLUB
SOCCER
SLEEP
TRAIN FOR NS <------ JUST kidding bitches.

Penned by Ben 1.57AM 23rd Jan 08