Now where am i?

Boy life really has its uncertainties and we, a long road that leads to nowhere.
Sometimes I really wonder if everything is already planned or do i make the choices that affect me? When i change my mind over something, was it part of the plan or was it a ripple that changed the tides? Iwished one year would just pass by. i would gladly not go thru all the happy moments and just get a year closer to death so i dont have to witness myself wasting a year in ns =) OH well. time machines. i need one like right now. Oh on a side note. I wanna get a carrrrrrrrr. that shall be my first aim in life. Now to achieve it. Go Ben gooooooooo!

UP for 2009!

Ok in order to not let my blog die even though i have like no time to update, i shall have an update just for 2009 cuz its gonna be the bestest year ever with me being in fucking ns the WHOLE year, yes the whole fucking year gone down the fucking drain with zilch being accomplished with me being in there.

Yes yes, you heard me NS is a fucking waste of time without anything new to learn or what. 12hrs of our life being miserable for 400 dollars a month and shit food. Oh hell people say NS makes you a man, I say what about countries without NS? The boys there won't ever be MAN?

It doesnt take NS to make you a man, just to realise time is precious. 6months is enough, even 1yr seems long. Now is 2 fucking years, yeah like we're living damn long like a 1000 yrs. we're only fucking living 100 yrs and you had to take away 2yrs and control it. Fucking ****** and fucking ****.

Down memory lane, with a different perspective

So now we all know that nobody's perfect as the fault lines widen under pressure and you show yourself. All pride and ego lost and now you are bare, because you chose ignorance because you chose to not care, so that the responsibilities in which you had to bear, now do not rest on your shoulders. I am deeply saddened by everything you have become. You probably were not the best but you didnt bend under pressure and withstood the winds of change. But over the years you cracked and now i know who you are. My pity for you does not come with relations, rather because you look just that, pitiful.

I hope and pray that this truth gets hidden and the usual facade falls back into place, because things can be painful, just so you know.

Footprints

Like every year a footprint, it vanishes and a new one is formed. Sometimes it may be in mud and all bad or in some years it maybe by etched in the sand and one worth remembering.. And with every footprint and time comes people who come and go some not so close and some we hold dear. Sometimes you know you can't escape disappearing from the facade of the earth and yet it scares you more that those close to you fall victim to that than you. This fragile thing called life, sometimes seem very strange. Sometimes you have to just set your path again, forget about your last steps and continue on your next one. Maybe it might just lead you to a better place.

QUALIFIED!

Qualified class 3 & 4 SAF driver. HELL YEAH! FINALLY TURTURE HAS ENDED!

The single boy

So now ppl say i might be gay cuz i'm single for so long. :O Bloody fuckin hell no way. Yeah single life sucks but wadda hell can we do about it if we havent found anyone, its not like i like being single. I see all the happy couples every weekend and sometimes i think to myself, wtf am i doing?! But then again i'm prolly single cuz its hard for me to accept just anyone, i've no idea why but i'm no male slut. SO THERE U GO. :) Everyone wants to find the special someone. including me bloody hell! and no it wont be another dude with a dick thanks..

And so life goes on...

nnooo i failed it

man restest this coming week. anyone wanna invest?? contact me! 200% returns in less than 2yrs! and whats more is u dont have to put in alot. minimum is just 155 sing dollars. =D i just recently spoke to the sg branch boss, nice chap, very ambitious

that said im moving on soon to my next chapter in ns lifeeee

Class 4 TP tmrrrrr

PRAY FOR ME. if i pass my life becomes a hell lot easier so yeah. and i've fallen ill blardy hell. what a time! Cant wait for the photoshoots planned out next month!

Repetitive, i dont like it much

Everyone around me seems to be moving on to a different phase in their life. Coolios, while army has gotten me holed up in the same phase for 2years. Holy crap. Anyhow, on a brighter note, things outside seem to be going pretty good. hopefully thinks can stay this way and prolly army get a hell lot easier. :O

By the way... anyone interested in investing? :D can contact me for details. whopeedoo.

Perpetual irony it is

So i was talking with my fellow groupmates from camp about religion, space and the evolution of man. How ironic sometimes i wonder when men so concerned about the afterlife or none of it dont see what humans have become, but the thing is do we really care. Do we believe what people tell us, the textbooks and such. Questions posed during the conversation, is the earth really round? other planets in the milky way? how do we know all these? By what our technology sees and then to the mass, what we read. This thing called knowledge may just be another mirage like the rumours of the fake man on the moon during the cold war as the US wanted to gain a foothold in the 'spacewars'. What then do faith hold for us, for those who have, and those who do not, or are we to be buried 100years later, forgotten.

Ah man... I need to improve my reaction for driving and my thinking is far too slow i guess. Need to adapt to this vocation real soon or i'm just as good as dead i swear. Goodbye people, enjoy your holidays! I will be back soon if i have more time. =D

Temporary photography website done!

http://passioninphotography.blogspot.com/

Do support me people! Hahaha. thanks!

DAMN LONG SIAL

Been damn busy like f%#! haha.. been training how to drive class 3 and 4 in army. friggin stressful but i dont believe its that difficult, so hopefully i'll be done soon and get back to blogging and stuff, oh by the way i might be getting my first photography customer. woohoo. Hold on there Ben! 1.5 more months only.

Dawn after the darkness?

As the day break i know the week ahead is again no easy one,
I slipped and fell many a times, got up and know i have to slip again.
It is this never ending road that i wanna give up sometimes,
maybe im slipping into a hole that i cannot climb back out.
I have bitten my teeth and bore the brute of it all yet...
My strength gets weaker everyday and i fall prey to dark habits.
Like stones dropped into the dark blue sea never rising again.
Resting at the bottom waiting for something to get me up again.

Its august!

Wow so fast and its August already. for the freaking past 1.5months, life has been mundane as ever yet time has passed and thats awesomeness. Field camps are coming soon. Marsiling and Tekong here we come. Oh i love this commando song, i shall share with you guys.

"There's a place in Changi Point, home of the commandos;
Up where the red beret, singing with pride;
Silver wings upon our chests, show them we are the best;

Trained to fight by day and night, sharp ears and eagle eyes;
We'll jump from any height;

Commandos are ever strong, fight for right and not for wrong;
We are the loyal ones;
Silver wings upon our chest, show them we are the best"


Having said that i wanna get outta that shithole. Dying, halfway. Bleah.

Save me from this thing they call NS

I dont believe i've to go through 2 years of this nonsensical shit waste of time thrash. SERIOUSLY. wtf. sian lah. Hahahaha. Ok so this past week has been very bad for me. Many things happened that werent quite in my favour and stuff. oh well. bite ur teeth and bear with it they always say. So here i go.

Cheespies

KENA FUCK LIKE SHIT IN CAMP TODAY. Fucking motherfuck cheebye fuck. Fucking pissed to the core. FUCK this shit!

Damn i have guard duty tomorrowwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Damn demoralised. too many shits have happened. Living a life that i dont wanna live! I wonder how it is to jump 10storeys. NO LA FUCK just kidding. hahaha. AIYA. time for me to get out! Ciao people! take care!

Soccerrrrrrrrrrr

So today we played soccer with the commandopes bunkmates and my stpats friends. Power la babe. But no more friday book out for me. Thats what i expect and next week sunday guard duty. FUCK THIS SHIT.

Anyhow i really enjoyed this weekend so it dont matter! =)

POWER LA FRIDAY BOOK OUT!

YES READ THE TITLE! I shall post my picture soon on my physical changes. ROFL

Cuz she's bittersweet

Ok so i have been enjoying and cherishing every single weekend i got out of jail. =) No seriously.
Sometimes I wonder why do we have to do this, all the world needs is for people to come to their
senses and stop all the mindless conflicts and people like me won't have to go through 2 years
of meaningless service. However being in NS has taught me many things. ( although i think 3 months is enough, 2 years is ridiculous ) And for that some part of me is grateful for the freedom i had, and have during the weekends.

Anyhow i wanted to pen down a poem for sometime about someone so i decided to write one today. Happy reading and enjoy what little time you all have because when you don't have that time then it is too late to think about it. AND NO NS WONT CHANGE ME BITCHES.




I never thought i'd reach here,
The feeling never so clear.
I never expected much to come,
But I knew i'd try, there is no harm.

I'm happy for the moments i got,
Although they aren't a lot.
Its not how dazzling she looks,
Nor how good she can cook.

But the way she makes me smile,
Her humour that differs by a mile.
It cannot be explained i say,
Its just the way she speaks and play.

The feeling one can never pen down,
It brightens you up when you have a frown.
Sometimes it makes a loud person shy,
And when you really feel it, you could fly.

Not much time, not much of everything,
But i will compromise if anything.
So now the question then is why,
Because for 3 years i didn't really wanna try.

Not until now, because of you.



Adios Amigos. Back to camp fer me. Next week is last week of PTP!

SATURDAY AGAIN!

HOME SWEET HOME!!!!!! hahahaha. Next week PTP is gonna end and BMT's gonna start but i wanna come out and go tekong or something. i dont have the commitment to everyday book out saturday and book in sunday! Next week i shall post a picture od myself and u guys can see the difference of 1 month in Commando camp. LOL. Toodles bitches.